Mediocre: Of only moderate quality; not very good. Using this definition, I should probably say the Bobcats are much worse than a team stuck in perpetual mediocrity. The Bobcats look like a team that should be relegated to the D-League, in fact they’re so bad that multiple analysts and fans believe that the Kentucky Men’s Basketball team that just won the NCAA Championship would put up a decent match. If Brittney Griner joined the Bobcats and started as a forward or even center there would possibly be an increase in talent (look at the roster, just look). Michael Jordan could come off the bench and be the best player on the team. Does all this sound crazy? Well the Bobcats are so putrid that it gives me reason to think up shit like this!

The team is currently 7-53, with a “winning percentage” of .117…yes .117…I don’t even understand how you can call that a “winning percentage”.

You know what makes that meme even funnier? We know it isn’t true yet it’s believable. As Bill Simmons (@sportsguy33) pointed out in a recent article, the Bobcats are on pace to finish with the worst “winning percentage” in NBA history. Since their establishment in 2004 as an expansion team, they have a combined “winning percentage” of .387. They have only been over .500 once (2009-10 season) and they celebrated that by getting swept by the Orlando Magic in the first round. How can a team continue to be so badly? I have no fucking clue!

To say the Bobcats suck is a severe understatement. They don’t show up to games (they probably can’t seeing how bad their roster is) and every other team is just far more talented. It isn’t Paul Silas’ fault because he has nothing to work with, and the players aren’t at fault because they don’t choose who they play with, so who is to blame? His Highness. Granted he only became owner starting in the 2009-10 season, but he was the same guy that drafted Kwame Brown #1 overall with the Wizards. After he became owner the team started off the next season with a 9-19 record, Larry Brown steps down and Jordan decides to trade their best player (Gerald Wallace) for a bag of chips and a poor wardrobe. That season the Bobcats regressed back to a below .500 record and have continued to get worse.

Jordan hasn’t done much to make the team better in the past 2 years: trading Stephen Jackson (for a solid draft number, only that year’s draft was subpar) acquiring Bismack Biyombo (ehh) and Kemba Walker in last year’s draft, and doing nothing through the free agency and trade periods. There is hope for the future (maybe) as this year’s upcoming draft is fairly deep and the Bobcats’ abysmal record guarantees them a top 4 spot. Although this is the Bobcats and Owner Michael Jordan we’re talking about, things can only go up from here right? If they manage to get lower than a .117 “winning percentage” next year then they really should draft Brittney Griner, but they’ll probably just draft another this guy instead: