Pictured above is the most awful thing ever to be associated with the Marlins since Jorge Julio (and David Samson). Standing in center field, whatever the hell this is called will light up and spin and other junk whenever the Marlins hit a home run.


At first, I was like most of you, questioning the sanity of Jeff Loria. Then, I realized it’s one of the most brilliant things to ever exist in professional sports.

Giving up a home run on the road is bad enough for a pitcher. But then to have that begin lighting up and spinning when you do? I can only imagine the sculpture looks like it does because Loria’s original design of just a giant sign saying “HAHA FUCK YOU” with spinning middle fingers and dildos was deemed “too awesome” by MLB.

The Marlins now have their own version of the clown in Happy Gilmore. Who isn’t excited to see Cole Hamels yelling at it after giving up a Mike/Giancarlo Stanton dinger?